Most Vulnerable Post To Date

I was going through some old photos on my computer, and came across this video.  You see when I was 22 years old, I was struggling with my self image. I was depressed and felt helpless. To the point that I created a video entry for The Biggest Loser. I am not going to lie it is a rather long video (10minutes) . I open up about my life, family and relationships. You see old pictures and how heavy I was.. then. What is shocking is I let myself get even larger than that after that video.

I watched this video and couldn't hold back my emotions.  I was so depressed, workout illiterate and so close minded to other options. I thought what I needed was a tv show to help me.  Now I realize I needed to know that I could do it.  I needed something to aspire for. I needed to believe and inspire myself, before I could do anything, let alone try inspire others.

I cannot deny my reluctance to posting this video, I look and act ridiculous. I was trying way to hard to get on this show. I didn't see that then, but I see that now.  I also see a girl that was struggling with self esteem, confidence and had only been put down by so many people. I show this to you not for you to laugh ( except at the stupid funny parts) but to show you that it is inside of you.  You have what you need to succeed. I had that desire 4 years ago. I just didn't realize it till recently. I urge you to do some true soul searching. Whether you are longing for weight loss, love, confidence, children, or what have you.  If there is even a morsel of desire that you can bring to the surface, I guarantee there is more inside of you that you can pull out to show you can succeed now.  Don't wait as long as I did to discover this. Change your life now.

Overdue post !! =)

Hey guys! I know it has been awhile since I have written on here. Things have been a little crazy in my life, which I have had to zero in on the things to focus on. One of which is continuously eating healthy and working out; so the blog got put on the side.  I figured it made more sense to workout then write about working out.

In the past month I have been dealing with finding a full time job, family stuff, planning something special for someone special, fathers day/wedding celebration, oh yeah my sister and her three (3) beautiful little girls moved in temporarily with Kevin and me.  The latter one has made my journey much harder than I could have imagined. My sister is a single mother, of a 9, 5 1/2 and 3 yr old girls. So as you can imagine there is a lot of "junk" food in my house. From doughnuts to cereal to cake. I try to make healthy dinners for everyone, but that doesn't always happen.  Not every journey can be as easy, and I wouldn't trade them staying with us for anything. The memories we are making are all the sweetness I need [cheesy i know!].

I'd be lying if I told you the only reason I haven't written anything is because of life being busy. I am terrified that something I may write will be analyzed, criticized and most importantly taken out of context. Due to recent history I have all the right to fear that. This is all I am going to say about this, and then I will move on to me and whats truly important, a healthy lifestyle.  I write on here to vent my feelings, fears, successes, and my journey. I do not write them on facebook to be openly public announcements, I do however post the link to the blog on facebook so that those that care about me and my journey can follow me.  If you do not care about me, my journey, my feelings or anything to do with my life and are just reading this to be nosy, shame on you.  You can not blame me for writing my feelings down in my blog, and you taking them out of context and manipulating them to say what you think they say or mean. So I ask you nicely now, to click that little X in the top right corner, and please leave me page.  This page is about me... not you.

Workouts are going well, I am getting to the point where I am increasing my weights. Which feels great! I pushing myself harder on the Arc Trainer at Planet Fitness, and can definitely feel the difference.. I am covered in sweat by the end of my 30 minute workout.

Oh yeah! At the wedding I had chicken with some mushroom sauce (didnt eat much of the sauce and none of the mushrooms .. yuck!) but I did enjoy the green beans! I ate all my green beans! So I enjoy them in a steam formed, just not the form they were in at Texas Roadhouse!


I am officially in a size 12! I started this journey as a size 16... some things were a size 18... I can def feel the difference, and I think I have dropped from a 38 bra to a 36. It is pretty loose around my bra band =)  Check out my videos, I tried 5 new foods, to make up for the last couple of weeks, and check out my updated pictures of before and now ( as of 6/6)

Thanks for following me and my journey. I encourage you to leave comments on suggestions for life, food, workouts, things to help the girls eat healthier without them knowing! I enjoy reading the comments. I know a ton of people read this, I see the stats!