Sunday, May 12, 2013

The week of Mothers Day

One post this week. Sorry about that. It has been a very busy week for me. Let's start with the beginning of the week, Monday.  Everyone loves Monday mornings, right? Mine seemed just like any other day.  Got up,  went to work, went to the gym, then headed to my night time job at David's Bridal.  Was there not long, and ended up going home sick.
   Tuesday was spent on the couch all day. Watching tv and vegging out.  It was horrible. I felt to lazy but I know that I was sick and I wouldn't have been able to do anything.  Thing I hated most about being sick wasn't missing work, or lack of appetite, it was the not being able to get my workout in.
    Wednesday was a slow drift back into the normal routine. Went to work in the morning, then to the gym.  Ab day with Shannon, told her to kill me, and well she did. Did my first ever planks. Along with many other exercises that were a struggle at first. But it due time I will have them down!
   Thursday was zumba with my friend Christine. I love zumba! It is my new found love, and I encourage everyone to try it out.  It is definitely a workout, works all muscles, but its worth it.
 
   Now for the struggles of the week! Friday my husband and I celebrated 4 years of marriage! We went to dinner, at my friends restaurant, where he offered free appetizers and dessert.  Well, most of the appetizers are fried and well dessert is well dessert.  So I ended up having a piece of mint chocolate chip ice cream flavored gum for dessert, 5 calories, yum! Then we went to Iron Man 3.  Now my old tradition when going to the movies was the movie lovers combo, large refillable popcorn and large refillable soda.  Of which, we often used the refillable offer.  I took a water bottle with me, and my hubby took some soda for him and snacks. Don't get me wrong, I craved popcorn the entire movie, but it was nice not having to worry about holding it and etc. And I didn't feel so gross after, I would load the popcorn with so much butter and salt.

   Saturday I had a baby shower to attend. Now the baby shower was not just hard because of the food, but because of the baby part.  My struggle is not just with food but with baby stuff. As you know from following my blog, that I want a family so bad.  But I struggle with infertility. Which makes trying to conceive  very difficulty.  If you haven't read the other posts, check them out.  But my childhood friend is having her first child, and I was invited to the baby shower.  I tried sloppy joe, but that isn't my new food of the week. They had cupcakes and cake... they looked so delicious. But I maintained my will power, and did not eat anything. This baby shower wasn't as bad as some others have been over the last few years. They had some really cute games, like personalized onesies that the mommy to be judges and picks the favorite.


Today is the hardest day. Not because of foods.  But it is Mother's Day.  The day when women get recognized for being mothers. And well, I am not one. I am at the age that all my friends are new mommies or recently found out they are going to be mommies, so facebook is overloaded with pictures and posts about it. I get to spend time with my in-laws and some of them are so supportive.  My father in law, step mother in law, and the kids got me this beautiful card about hanging in there and I am strong and has a bookmark on it that says " Every challenge is an opportunity to discover who we are and all the we can be." I cried. some people don't understand or care to understand what I am going through.  But Kevin Sr, Brandy and Carol take the extra effort to listen, care and support... since day one. Thank you guys, I love you.  But there are others that I have come in contact with this weekend, that don't understand and just want to gloat their accomplishments in fertility and life in front of me and others.  That's where it is hard. Why can't they just be considerate? I know your a mom, I know you just had a kid, and I know this and that. But do you have to consistantly talk about it? Are you that self- centered. Its ironic. Because right now I am being that self-centered about my lack of those things in my life. But that's why I limit it to my blog.  If you are still reading, then you care what I think and how I feel.  And I thank you.  I took a run this morning, once I woke up and realized what day it was.  So to take my mind off of it, even just for a little big.  I took a jog to dallastown fire dept, and then back home.  Got home a took a long shower listening to maroon 5 on the radio. That was my treat to me. Because I deserve it. Whether I am a mom or not I deserve it.


So I tried a new food... avocado. Check out the video. Don't forget to challenge me to a new food! Need one for this week to come!



3 comments:

  1. First off, avocado shouldn't be eaten like an apple to get the benefits! Try it on a turkey sandwich or in salad or add it to salsa.

    Secondly, I don't know what you have or haven't tried.. But I'll list a couple things to pick from: fresh spinach, black beans, grapefruit (which I dislike lol but to each his own), or cilantro (which I love, but it's for seasoning dishes, not eating alone).

    Third, about mothers day... It's not just for mothers. It's for anyone who has a mother. And, well...I do not. I lost her at fifteen, so it's a hard day for other reasons to me. On that, I can empathize...on the struggle to not be jealous of friends and give in to the tears. But I do have three children, and with that being said, I want you to know that I'm not gloating or trying to sound selfish. It's just the part I choose to celebrate since I can't celebrate my mother. Also, my kids are too young, and Dustin worked the last two mothers days, so there isn't anyone to make my day special or easy or any different from any other day, which to be honest is usually exhausting. Posting on FB is more of a ritualistic way to remind myself that I'm still lucky to have them, even if they are that very second getting potting soil everywhere, running too close to the street, refusing the meal I slaved over, tracking grass clippings on the kitchen floor that stayed clean for three minutes, jumping on the bed at nap time, etc... (all of which did happen today, btw) My point is, mothering is a very hard job. My picture with them smiling on FB (which I had to bribe them with candy to sit still for) is simply for self validation...to say yeah, this day isn't easy for several reasons, but I still have these people to care for who need me and, deep down, do love me and appreciate at least a portion of my enormous efforts, even though they find it challenging to show it very often. I have no doubt that you can think of someone who needs and loves you too, so let them be who you think of today, perhaps even let them spoil you a bit.
    Best wishes,
    Rachel

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  2. Hey Rachel . I have this thing that I have to try it in true form, then I can try it in other forms. I'm sorry... if you felt the need to defend your self. In regards to facebook I'm not saying people can't post , I have no control of that. I only have control of what I look at. The gloating thing was in regards to more than just facebook, there are some people that go of their way to hurt me. Those are who I'm talking about..

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  3. Makes sense; yeah, I didn't know a back story existed. I didn't mean to come off sounding all defensive, either. I'm just dealing with my own issues today and certain people with zero understanding or appreciation (not you, don't worry lol). Guess we're both glad this day is over; here's to Monday haha...

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